Unconscious Affinity

       “Hey…”
       The painting was almost done; her fingers black from the mess of colors. Raven’s silky, waist-length, charcoal hair irritated the back of her neck, and she impatiently pushed it to one side with a scarred wrist. It had been a long day, and she had hoped to be doing something different and more productive. Reluctantly, she raised her eyes to meet the trespasser into her domain and drew a sharp intake of breath at the familiar, hazel eyes.
       Autumn had come early, and the decrepit art rooms at the neglected, forgotten end of the school were absolutely freezing. May had to come to meet her partner for the English assignment, but it wasn’t by personal choice. Of all the people in her class, she had to get stuck with Raven. She sighed. Might as well as get it over and done with.
       “Cold, huh?”
       “It is September, May.”
       May shivered, and it wasn’t all because of the chilly weather.
       How would May know cold? Unlike Raven, she lacked nothing. She had it all: the rich, hot boyfriend, her preppy cheerleading group, the best grades, always surrounded by popular wannabes, destined to get into Harvard – the perfect life. Her blonde locks never seemed tangled and she always had the latest designer clothes, straight off the catwalk. The golden girl.
       The air was taut with tension, until Raven pointed at the empty chair beside her.
       “Let’s get started.”
       May silently exhaled in relief. Raven’s stare left her feeling like she was twelve again; stupid, naïve and stuck for words. The unreadable darkness behind this girl’s obsidian eyes pierced May’s heart like an icicle.
       “Well…I have a couple of notes to start with. What do you want to do?”
       Raven ignored May and pulled her notebook out of her bag. She flicked towards the back for an empty page when a loose sheet fell out. She gasped in horror and reached out for the folded note.
       “What’s that?”
       May reached out to grab the page from Raven. The writer had pressed so hard the ink had bled through the page in several places. The black scribbles abounded with crossed-out sections. Whoever had written the piece had struggled to find the right words, holding the pen in one place for long periods of time. May wanted to see what was on it, overcome with curiosity about what went through this girl’s head.
         “It’s nothing.”
         Raven’s tone was ominous as she jerked the page away.
         “Oh, come on. Just tell me what it says, then.”
         “You really don’t want to know. Keep your despicable nose out of my business.”
         The defensive note only made May’s interest surge.
         “Don’t be such a baby, Raven. Look, I won’t even tell anyone in class.”
         “God, you’re just not going to stop harassing me. Fine. I’ll read it.”

Hidden in four white walls, a never-ending corridor, a sinister classroom, is a girl. Astray, bound and imprisoned in abandon, is a girl. Disguised by a simulated smile, is a soul. Yearning for a purpose, a reason to live where living isn’t living death. A way out of the chains and whips of hell. A girl fakes a smile every day, the focus of attention. Hoping in vain for another beginning, another time, another way, another chance, another love. Stupid. Another life – one without ambition, drive, wants, needs, desires. To taste belonging, perfection. So misguided… no, this is madness. A girl longing for the touch of another.

         May’s mouth dropped in astonishment. She didn’t know what to think or say. Raven’s hands remained steady, holding the paper in front of her face. May pushed the paper down. Raven’s face was a mess of tears and bleeding mascara, despair and hope battling for supremacy behind her eyes.
       “If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you.”
         It didn’t sound like an empty threat coming out from her mouth. The pain showed in her eyes and frightened May. Instead of answering, May pulled a tissue out of her purse and moved to wipe the tears away from Raven’s eyes, as well as clean up the mess of make-up.
         “You’re so pale.”
         Why on earth did she choose to wear black eyeliner? Her delicate features would look so much lovelier with a lighter chocolate shade.
         Raven pulled away at first, but then she let out a shuddering sigh and let May wipe the tissue under her eyes. May’s hand drifted down to her soft lips and stayed for a moment.
       “Why do you do this to yourself?”
       May was surprised how steady the words came out, her voice unwavering. Raven pulled her legs against her chest, her eyes wet. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She shook her head, mute. It was over.
       Then May leaned in close to Raven and kissed her. Raven’s heart stopped… and for the first time, she felt wholly, utterly, painfully, undeniably complete. She didn’t know where her body ended and May’s began. This feeling… Raven’s eyes fluttered closed and she didn’t notice when May stopped until she felt May’s breath against her face, May’s mouth close enough for her breath to moisten hers.
       “If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you.”
       Raven opened her eyes again to see May packing up her things.
       “I will finish the writing portion of the project myself, Raven. You can deal with the artistic talent, since that is what you are apparently good at.”
       Raven remained silent and simply nodded her head. She watched as May walked away with her purse and notebook and sighed. Tomorrow, she would have to wear something with a bit more color.